A TESTIMONY
I remember when I was a teenager I was rebuked by a godly man I respected, for my bad attitude I had towards my parents. I had an inner rebellion against my parents - and he saw it, and rebuked me directly, and hard for it. It made me very sad in the moment because this was person I really respected and valued his opinion. And I saw that I had a choice to make: I could either disregard his words and move on, keeping that on my conscience and weighing me down, or I could face it head-on and do something about it. I knew what I had to do. And by God's grace to heed the word and turn from that sin in my heart was one of the best things that ever happened to me in my whole life. It changed me permanently. I had to repent so deeply and turn around from my whole attitude and how I treated my parents, and not only that but an inner attitude of negativity and bitterness. And after I repented, I actually started to see more clearly how terrible those inner attitudes actually were. And then it was only later when I looked back that I noticed, it was the next couple of years in my life after that in which I genuinely saw my life in Jesus flourish.
It was nothing I did as a different “pattern” outwardly (for example, taking on new spiritual disciplines or methods) - the Lord just led me into a new fear of God, and closeness with Him. It was a Holy Spirit work. I was nominally seeking the Lord before. But something new happened after I repented of that specific deep inner sin specifically. The love of God and His mercy and forgiveness became so much more precious to me. I hungered for the Lord so much more. He became not just "Lord" but "Friend" through my trials. I was getting revelation. I hungered for His Word. It was like a “revival” of the Holy Spirit for me. And the Lord showed me, that it hinged on that choice of deciding whether I would humble myself and repent or not. I praise the Lord He helped me then to genuinely repent.
THE HOLY SPIRIT CONVICTS AND WORKS POWERFULLY WHEN WE RESPOND
People talk about revivals. And they have books about all that God did in the past revivals. That’s when the Holy Spirit comes in a powerful way, and God has done amazing works to advance His kingdom. I am hesitant to get caught up in the stories of the 'experience' of revivals because I realize how prone we are to be amazed by big works and movements and feelings (and perhaps many of the 'revivals' people talk of in the past were fake). But I noticed one emphasis that’s the same with every one of the testimonies of genuine revival, like that in Acts chapter 2. One characteristic that's always the same when the Holy Spirit comes is: repentance (Acts 2:37-38). It's easy to get caught up in the story of the 'experience' of the revival, but really it is more about the changing of lives from a life of sin to a newness of life in holiness and long-lasting consistency, from people who chose to mourn over their sins and repent deeply. That's how the Holy Spirit works in us, to bring us to repentance and newness of life. The Bible says of the Holy Spirit:
“And He, when He comes, will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment;” John 16:8
The Holy Spirit and deep conviction and repentance from our sin always go together.
And the Lord will lead us into a new life. It’s a spiritual principle that God will never break: life comes through death. When we die, there will be a resurrection. Both on the last day (with new physical bodies in glory that are incorruptible - Rom 8:11, Php 3:21, 1 Cor 15), and today - when we die to self there is a “new life”.
Question: What is the new life? What is the “life” that comes when we die daily to our sin and our will (repentance)?
I believe it is very simple. I believe the new life is: free and unhindered fellowship with God and Jesus (John 17:3).
“This is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent.” John 17:3
That’s always the main thing, both now and for all eternity. Fellowship with The Father and The Son is the one thing that’s always lacking or missing when we’re not in repentance, and the one thing that’s restored the very MOMENT we turn from our sin, genuinely. And then with the freedom of that fellowship comes all of His spiritual blessings that always flow when we are "connected to the vine" (John 15) - the Holy Spirit Himself comes when we repent (John 14:15-16), a peace that passes understanding (Php 4:7), a joy unspeakable (1 Pet 1:8), the voice of God to guide and comfort us in everything. A clarity, a spiritual vision, a zeal and hunger. But it all starts with : death (repentance). Life for us always has to start with death.
“Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. He who loves his life loses it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it to life eternal.” John 12:24-25
FIGHTING THE OUTSIDE
The default I’ve seen in my flesh is to focus on fighting all my circumstances through life. That’s SO tiresome! There’s no end to it. We feel that just maybe we can get a victory and peace with enough fighting outwardly. But I believe it's rare for a person to realize that our main issue is not outward, but inward - our inward sins. Our main problem isn’t all that’s outside of us - our trials, other people, our lack, our boundaries. That’s not our main problem. If we would only see that our main problem is what’s inside of us!! I’ve spent so much of my life fighting outward things instead of surrendering to the Lord’s will for all that is outward, and making my main fight the things inside of myself that are displeasing to God. But I’ve seen that when I do that, the “outside” takes care of itself easy enough. It’s not that the outside all the sudden fixes itself (circumstances are gone), it’s that - inwardly for me it almost doesn’t matter anymore whether it does or not. That’s the victory God gives. Where inside we can have a “rest” from the outside not because the outside stuff doesn’t exist anymore, it’s because that inwardly we are living at such a higher level that it’s now manageable. We got in a rocket, and rose above the storm. We can see the clouds below, but from our perspective it’s a very little thing whether the storm is still there or not. The main thing is that we have gotten close to heaven (the presence of God). And the “rocket” had only one ignition to get up there - It all started with: repentance.
IT'S A DAILY CROSS
Lest anyone get discouraged, thinking “why have I tried this and can’t seem to get this life?” I want to clarify one thing: this is a daily opportunity, not a “one and done.” Jesus said the cross is a 'daily' cross. I've experienced some times where we there seemd to be a deep and large "Isaac" test (as I mentioned earlier I the Lord showed me), where it is a revelation of some deep repentance and surrender I needed to do. This is how we should first come to the Lord, and how we should respond if there's some major sin that we realize is there. And then from there, most of life for us is everyday waking up and live in the state of judging ourselves and repenting of everything we see, as it comes up. And if we do that today, we can live this life. If we did it yesterday, but we do not do it today, then we won’t live this life today. This is not discouraging, it is a great encouragement because it gives us hope for today that this can be our life today, and it answers every temptation to the discouragement of, “why haven’t I entered this life?” You probably HAVE entered this life at times! You just need to work to be more consistent in it!
Don't you remember times when you were so serious for the Lord, so hungry for the Lord? So mournful of your sins? And you walked in the presence of God in a newness of joy? It’s there - for us everyday, we just need to believe it's there for us, and be consistent in it.
“Therefore let us be diligent to enter that rest, so that no one will fall, through following the same example of disobedience.” Hebrews 4:11
What is diligence? Diligence is : consistency.
"COME UP HIGHER"
One last thing: we may not be conscious of any major sins we have. Just because we don’t see any big sins (yelling at our spouse, staring at women, chasing after money), it doesn’t mean we stop fighting and don’t have anything we need to repent of. The devil wants us to believe that: "You've met the standard now. That's good enough. You can stop running so hard. You're very godly by now, that's enough." That is SO dangerous. If we believe that, we will quickly go backward in our walk with God.
Sin is “falling short of the glory of God” (Rom 3:23). Surely for every one of us, everyday there’s a lot of “falling short” of His glory we should be repenting of constantly. If we have an eye for these things to judge ourselves for what others may say are “little”, the Lord will bring us higher. I was careful in having a patience in my speech with my kids today, but I groaned reluctantly when my wife asked for a favor - I didn't say anything, and she didn't hear it, but that groan is plain and simple selfishness coming out! Don’t disregard it, I have to face it head-on and repent! Or perhaps I did well at home, but my lazy attitude at work pushed back on some small task I didn’t want to do because I thought someone else should be doing it. Even if I was correct, the attitude of “this is below me” is falling short of the glory of God! Maybe in multiple instances today I agreed with some negative thought in my mind that the devil put there about someone else, maybe my smile was a little too big and interaction a little too friendly with a person of the opposite sex, maybe I'm looking at my retirement account a little too much to draw satisfaction and 'rest' from security in money, maybe I'm comforting myself a little too much with some earthly thing, replacing the comfort that God wanted to give me Himself and instead spend time with me. Are these not all "falling short of God's glory" and need to be repented of? We wouldn’t have seen these things when we first repented, but now as we walk with God our aim is to live in the heavenlies with Him, and so our goal and vision is higher than before. He says to those who fear Him, "come up higher!" (Rev 4:1). If we could see how much in our motives and attitudes still exist a self-life, a self-focus, we should be repenting everyday! On the last day we may stand before God and be looking at our life saying “Wow! Why didn’t I just LOOK to see my plain sin and repent of that! My life could have been so much more beautiful for Jesus.” But praise God we have the opportunity to still correct that now! Today is the day of salvation.
“...we also urge you not to receive the grace of God in vain— for He says, “At the acceptable time I listened to you, And on the day of salvation I helped you.” Behold, now is “the acceptable time,” behold, now is “the day of salvation” (2 Corinthians 6:1-2)