As we’re going through Matthew 15 this week as a church, I was blessed to go deeper into what happened with the Syrophoenician woman.

Here are 5 things that blessed me from Jesus' example there:

  1. The assurance that we are in God’s will is far more important to know and have, than to know “why” God is doing what He’s doing. Eventually the “why” will be answered.

Matthew 15:21 "Jesus then left that part of the country and walked the fifty miles to Tyre and Sidon." (TLB)

Jesus walked 50 miles as the Father led Him. And it seems like He didn’t realize why He was going there. I believe since Jesus on earth as a man was exactly like us (Heb 4:15), He didn’t know all the future. He knew some, but for most things had to follow the Holy Spirit like we do: just trusting.

It must have been so hard walking 50 miles in the heat and sun! Sometimes God leads us down a path which is really long and hard and we don’t know why. It’s a season, but God has a purpose for it. It will become clear as we go down the path.

Proverbs 4:12 (AMP): "When you walk, your steps will not be impeded [for your path will be clear and open];

As we walk, things become clear and open up for us. For most of our life we don’t know what’s coming next.

It may not always be clear “why” God is doing what He’s doing, but there always exists a peace we can have right now if we are in God’s will in “what” we’re doing in this moment.

The assurance that we are in God’s will is far more important to know and have, than to know “why” God is doing what He’s doing.

Jesus didn’t say the Holy Spirit is like the wind. He said those who are born of the Holy Spirit (and follow the Holy Spirit) are like the wind (John 3:8). We don’t know where we are coming or going, and neither does anybody else. Because God Himself is guiding us and only He sees what's coming and He has planned for it.

 

  1. Not every question has to be answered. Silence is often a good default - until we hear from God on what to say.

Then Jesus arrived there after 50 miles, and the desperate Syrophoenician woman found Him, and started pleading with Him:

“But He did not answer her a word. And His disciples came and implored Him, saying, "Send her away, because she keeps shouting at us."” Matthew 15:23 NASB

Wow! It's amazing that Jesus stayed silent while this woman was crying out to Him all this time. It’s hard for me to imagine this - for someone crying to Jesus and Him just sitting there silent. It looks odd, but in Jesus' example there’s something God wants me to learn here.

Jesus often had no problem doing this (staying silent while people pressed Him). He did this to the Pharisees as they continued to press Him about the woman caught in adultery (John 8:6-7), He did this to people accusing Him (Mark 14:61), etc.

Not every question needs to be answered, not every word needs a response.

Human love may say, "That's rude, it's not good manners." But God's love is so different. There's something different about God's love and the way perfect love is which we cannot understand. Even the Father at times may stay silent toward us for some time when we've been praying persistently. God’s ways are mysterious. It's humbling to recognize this, and so we have to press on to ask God to help us grow in true Divine love and patience.

This also shows something about following the Spirit and how we speak. I realize this is an important example for us; Jesus was so careful to follow the Holy Spirit - when we don’t know what to say, a good default is to stay silent until the Spirit leads us. In our heart, we can be considering what’s wise, and talking to God and checking with Him, and asking God what to say in the moment, like Nehemiah did : “Then the king said to me, “What would you request?” So I prayed to the God of heaven” Nehemiah‬ ‭2‬:‭4‬.

In a moment - we can seek the Lord in our heart for a word. He may remind us of a verse, or give some word. He knows we don’t want to sin, and that we want to please Him. And He always feeds those who hunger for righteousness. So He will provide. And when we’re still not sure, a good default is silence or a gentle answer (Prov 15:1).

“When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, But he who restrains his lips is wise.” ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭10‬:‭19‬

 

  1. Jesus did not hold to rules and legalism above hearing from the Holy Spirit, and love. Following the Holy Spirit means we can have convictions but there may be times we need to be flexible.

Jesus knew it wasn't His calling to heal those outside of His people at the moment (Gentiles). His Father had a calling for Him for that time (Matt 15:24, Matt 10:5-6). And it blesses me to see He wasn’t a slave to the law or rules or even what He felt His job was. He made an exception, after hearing from His Father.

I have seen at times I’ve personally tended to hold onto my own rules so much that it did more harm than good and it was against God’s heart.

But God has sometimes spoken to me “God made the Sabbath for man, not man for the Sabbath (Mark 2:27).”

In other words, the rules (and self-discipline) I make or I feel are from God, I should not be a slave to so strictly if God is leading me otherwise.

Eric Liddel sacrificed an Olympic gold medal by not running on a Sunday (his own conviction), but was happy after that to run and play soccer with a group of children on a Sunday. The heart of love puts God and others first, and holds to things generally but also is not legalistic, it puts people above rules.

So sometimes if after we push back on what we think is God's will we feel we may have to consider, is it still God's will now or shall I change course?

And in the Father’s mind, Jesus' whole purpose to come up to that place of Tyre/Sidon was to heal this one woman's daughter (immediately after this He headed to Galilee).

 

  1. God rewards zealous hunger that pushes to seek Him, and press into Him

At first Jesus pushed back and said to her,

“I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.” But she came and began to bow down before Him, saying, “Lord, help me!” And He answered and said, “It is not good to take the children’s bread and throw it to the dogs.”” ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭15‬:‭24‬-‭26‬

I believe God was testing her, to see if she was really hungry for His help, and if she valued Jesus, being full of faith.

There may be times God comforts us in our failings. And He doesn’t threaten us with Hell, He reassures and encourages us. But for those who just stop there (at a defeated life) - He is silently disappointed that they don’t want to fight harder to be an overcomer, that they didn’t push harder to fight that sin or temptation - to fight and pray and persist. He is waiting for those who continue to press on and say, "Lord! I want to be all in with you, You’re the only thing that matters! I’m all in! Help me to overcome this!” He’s waiting for the few who will press Him like this. In the kingdom of God, “The violent take it by force”.

“You have not yet resisted to the point of shedding blood in your striving against sin;” Hebrews‬ ‭12‬:‭4‬ ‭NASB

Jesus said of this heart, “Will the Son of man find faith on the earth like this?” (Luke 18:8 - the persistent widow)

Or when someone came eager to follow Jesus, but Jesus seemed to push back and say, “this life is hard, I have no place to lay my head” (Luke 9:58). That man should have pressed Jesus and said, “Lord, are you not more important than comfort? I will follow you!!” That is faith. But the one in that verse seems to have missed it.

But this woman didn’t - she pressed Jesus. Jacob was named “Israel”, meaning “wrestles with God”. He said, “I won’t let you go until you bless me.” And she had the same spirit:

Matt 15:27 But she said, "Yes, Lord; but even the dogs feed on the crumbs which fall from their masters' table." 15:28 Then Jesus said to her, "O woman, your faith is great; it shall be done for you as you wish." And her daughter was healed at once.

Pray for your overcoming of sin. Don’t overcomplicate it by thinking you have to be
so fancy for God to hear you and answer, or just because you failed 100 times that means you’ll never overcome. Persist! Pray! Commit to pray for years and decades if needed. Pray and don’t give up. Pray, keep on fighting. Let prayer and persistence be your life’s work for decades if needed until God does something.

Overcomers aren't the ones who happen to have so much more strength than everyone else. They're just the ones who kept on going.

 

  1. Humility is not very self-aware. And it is free from comparison.

Lastly, I’m blessed by this woman’s humility.

Matt 15:27 "But she said, "Yes, Lord; but even the dogs feed on the crumbs which fall from their masters' table."

This woman didn’t have any struggle with comparison - because she was so humble. She had no pride that says, “why am I not as good as them? Would you help them but not me? Is God so unjust as to do good to others but not me?” She was thankful with even a little 'crum' from the Lord - because she saw, that's all she needed. And where else would she go?

Humility is not very self-aware. It's very self-forgetful.

For us, pride can magnify the temptation of comparison, making us place expectations on God and accuse Him of being unjust.

But when we come to the point where we say, “You are God. You do what you want. When you want. How you want. But I’ll keep praying to you and looking to you as my only hope”, then God can work with us. Not for all the selfish things that we want in our own will; but for actual good things that are all of God's burdens and real spiritual blessings for us and others we are burdened for.

Pride will block God from being able to work, but a humility of faith like this humble woman that allows God to work how He wants, when He wants, is powerful to bind things on Heaven and earth.